All My Friends Live on the Internet
Platonic love for the group chat: best friends you might never meet IRL, and a wifi router you have to slap to keep them in frame.
Listen: Spotify·Apple Music·YouTube
The hook is a contradiction the song never resolves, on purpose: all my friends live on the internet, but there’s nothing virtual about you. The relationships are real; the geography isn’t. The bit about never wanting to meet in person isn’t antisocial. It’s the fear that flesh would kill the vibe you actually have.
Mom thinks it’s pathetic. The song apologizes to mom, then keeps going. The town doesn’t get him; the group chat does. Aliens, lag, frozen frames, DSP throttling, slapping the router: the infrastructure of modern friendship rendered as bedroom-pop logistics. The neighbor’s password is Secret123. Lucky me.
It’s a platonic love song for people who only exist as voice and memes and late-night co-op, and it treats that as worth celebrating, not apologizing for.
Written, performed, and mixed by Luke Francis Walton. Mastered by Riley Knapp. Artwork by Grizzard Graphics.
Lyrics
All my friends live on the internet Ooo All my friends live on the internet Ooo C'mon Would you be mad if I said I never really wanna meet ya In person, like, Wouldn't that kill the vibe we got? Would you be sad if I said you're prolly My best friend My mom thinks I'm pathetic I think she's getting old (Sorry, mom) All my friends live on the internet Ooo All my friends live on the internet Ooo There's nothing virtual about you All my friends live on the internet Ooo Come on Are you free talk right now There's no one in this town that gets me Maybe you and I could Kill some aliens and laugh it off Would you be glad if I said I'm never ever gonna ghost ya Can you hear me? (No) Hold up I am frozen My wifi's down again How am I supposed to See my friends When DSPs be throttling (No cap) I slap my wifi router But notice that my neighbor Set his password to Secret123 (Lucky me) All my friends live on the internet Ooo All my friends live on the internet Ooo There's nothign virtual about you All my friends live on the internet Ooo Yeah